Thursday Humor

The after-dinner speaker just didn't have a Stop button. He burbled on and on and on, oblivious to his increasingly restless audience. Finally one of the more drunken diners hurled an empty wine bottle at him. It missed, and hit the Chairman instead.
As the Chairman slid slowly to the floor clutching his head, he was heard to murmur, "Hit me again, I can still hear him."

One day Ole and Sven were paging through the Sears catalog and admiring all the beautiful models. Ole said to Sven, “Haf you seen da perdy girls in dis catalog?” Sven replied, “Ya. Dey sure are bootiful, an yust look at da prices!” Ole looked wide eyed and said, “Yumpin’ Yimminy. Dey ain’t very expensive. At dees prices I’m buyin’ me vun…maybe two.” Sven smiled, patted Ole on the back and said, “By golly Ole, if she’s as purdy as she looks in da catalog, I vill get vun too.” Three weeks later Sven came by and asked Ole, “did ya ever git dat girl you ordered from da Sears catalog”? Ole replied, “no, but it von’t be long now, her clothes came yesterday!”