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Before beginning the service, our pastor read aloud a note he’d been handed moments earlier. “It says here that I should announce that there will be no B.S. tomorrow morning,” he said. He tucked the piece of paper into a pocket and added, “I’m hoping they mean ‘Bible Study.’”
 

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Howard dies and waits in line for judgment. He notices that some souls go right into heaven, while Satan throws others into a burning pit. But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, the devil tosses it aside. Curious, Howard asks Satan, “Excuse me, but why are you tossing them aside instead of flinging them into hell with the others?”

“They’re from Seattle,” Satan replies. “They’re too wet to burn.”
 

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A man with a huge grin approaches a priest.

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” he says. "I’ve spent the week with seven beautiful women.”

"Do not fret, my son,” says the priest. "All you need to do is take seven lemons, squeeze the juice into a glass, and drink the juice.”

"Will that cleanse my sin from me?”

"No, but it’ll wipe that stupid smile off your face.”
 

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Oh Yeah!!! Thanks so much guys!!! Awesome!!!
 
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Government suppression of rights has nothing to do with heaven. Government has no authority over the church, none.
 
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