It was his worst round ever. He plops down on the couch in front of the television, and says to his wife, "Can you get me a beer before it starts?”
The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts."
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer. It's going to start any minute."
The wife is furious. She yells at him "You've been out playing golf all day! Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore . . ."
A doctor, a lawyer, and a priest were playing golf one day behind an excruciatingly slow group of about eight people. When they made the turn at the clubhouse they complained to the pro.
"Gentlemen, I apologize", he said, "I should have told you we're hosting a group of blind golfers today. Their balls emit a noise to help them find them, and they have guides along to assist, but I'm afraid they're going to be a little slow."
The doctor immediately spoke up. "I feel terrible about complaining. Of all people I should realize how healthy it is for these folks to participate in mainstream activities."
"What about me?", said the priest. "I'm supposed to set an example of Christian charity, and I was complaining as loudly as anyone else."
The lawyer piped up: "Why can't they play at night?"