Smith And Wesson Forums banner

Any day of the week funnies

2M views 39K replies 144 participants last post by  Abby'sDad 
#1 ·
Rectangle Yellow Font Brand Circle
 
See less See more
1
#12,761 ·
Tire Motor vehicle Standing Vehicle Font
 
#12,762 ·
Motor vehicle Font Cartoon Illustration Technology
 
#12,763 ·
Hairstyle Vertebrate Mammal Gesture Interaction
 
#12,764 ·
Woman goes to the doctor complaining about her constant flatulating. “Doctor, I fart all day and night. I need you to understand that they are silent and odorless, but I feel very uncomfortable passing gas all the time. As a matter of fact, I’m farting right now, but as you can obviously tell, they make no noise and they are odorless. Can you help me”

The doctor thinks for a moment and says, “Yes, I believe I can help you. I’m going to give you 2 prescriptions. I want you to take one of the blue pills every morning, and one of the yellow pills each afternoon.”

“Thank you doctor. Will that make the farting stop?”

“No, but the blue pills will clear up your sinuses, while the yellow pills will help restore your hearing loss.”
 
#12,765 ·
Clothing Sleeve Smile Organism Happy
 
#12,766 ·
Face Hair Nose Head Skin
 
#12,767 ·
A sweet little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is

working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"

So, her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and

the bees.

He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperm and eggs etc.

He tells her about puberty, menstruation, men and women and love......

He thinks what the hell, and tells her the works, thinking that to

tell it all is the only way to tell truth.

The girl is somewhat awe struck with this sudden influx of bizarre new

knowledge, and her father finally asks, "So why did you wish to know

about sex?"

"Oh, mommy said lunch would be ready in a couple of secs..."
 
#12,768 ·
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car.After looking the man over he says, “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking & driving?”The man gets really indignant and says, “Officer, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?”
 
#12,769 ·
A guy is in a fully packed stadium, waiting for the game to begin. He is seated right next to one of the last few free seats. Comes another supporter along and spots the empty seat.

“Say bud, is that seat free?”

“It sure is my my chap, sit down. This seat was reserved for my wife but she passed away just a couple of days ago.”

“Ooh, sorry to hear that. That's terrible. No-one else you could have invited instead then?”

“Nope, none of my friends were available today, they're all at her funeral right now.”
 
#12,770 ·
Furniture Product Rectangle Font Sharing
 
#12,771 ·
Outdoor bench Road surface Asphalt Wood Bench
 
#12,772 ·
Product Font Line Material property Wood
 
#12,773 ·
Smile Jaw Organism Font Adaptation
 
#12,774 ·
Font Rectangle Technology Gas Logo
 
#12,775 ·
Cartoon Vertebrate Sharing Organism Gesture
 
#12,776 ·
Liquid Fluid Material property Gas Font
 
#12,777 ·
Font Rectangle Signage Circle Darkness
 
#12,778 ·
Human Sleeve Gesture Finger Cartoon
 
Top