Any day of the week funnies
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The concierge at the Lakeside Resort notices the newlyweds registering for their honeymoon week.
However; at 6am the next morning he sees the groom, all dressed in fishing gear, heading down to the lake.
Well after the sun has set the concierge notices the groom returning with a basket full of fish.
Early next morning the groom is on his way to the lake again.
That night he returns with another basket full of fish.
The same routine continues for the next three days.
Finally; the concierge’s curiosity gets the better of him. As the groom returns from another long day of fishing, the concierge asks, “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice that despite this being your honeymoon, you have done nothing but fish. Why are you not in bed fucking your wife every day?”
The groom replies, “Because my wife has an STD called Gonorrhea.”
The concierge showing a bit of surprise, asks, “Have you considered anal sex?”
“I can’t do that either because my wife is having a bout of Diarrhea.”
The concierge says, “Well then why not have her give you oral sex?”
“I can’t do the either, because she suffers from a gum disease called Pyorrhea.”
The concierge scratches his head and says, “Gonorrhea!, Diarrhea!, Pyorrhea!. Why in God’s name did you ever marry this woman?!!!”
The groom smiles and says, “Because she also has worms, and I just love to go fishing.
However; at 6am the next morning he sees the groom, all dressed in fishing gear, heading down to the lake.
Well after the sun has set the concierge notices the groom returning with a basket full of fish.
Early next morning the groom is on his way to the lake again.
That night he returns with another basket full of fish.
The same routine continues for the next three days.
Finally; the concierge’s curiosity gets the better of him. As the groom returns from another long day of fishing, the concierge asks, “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice that despite this being your honeymoon, you have done nothing but fish. Why are you not in bed fucking your wife every day?”
The groom replies, “Because my wife has an STD called Gonorrhea.”
The concierge showing a bit of surprise, asks, “Have you considered anal sex?”
“I can’t do that either because my wife is having a bout of Diarrhea.”
The concierge says, “Well then why not have her give you oral sex?”
“I can’t do the either, because she suffers from a gum disease called Pyorrhea.”
The concierge scratches his head and says, “Gonorrhea!, Diarrhea!, Pyorrhea!. Why in God’s name did you ever marry this woman?!!!”
The groom smiles and says, “Because she also has worms, and I just love to go fishing.
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From the moment Jane first met Tarzan, she was immensely attracted to him.
She asked him many questions about his life in the jungle, but when she asked him about his sex life, Tarzan replied, “What that?”
Jane proceeded to explain the ins and out of love making. Finally; Tarzan understood and told Jane he used a hole in tree to get relief.
Jane was horrified at such a waste of a man. “You are doing it all wrong Tarzan, Here, let Jane show you how to make love properly.”
Jane stripped, laid on the floor, spread her legs wide open, pointed to herself and told Tarzan where to insert himself.
Tarzan, took off his loin cloth, moved close to Jane and proceeded to give an almighty kick to her vagina.
Jane rolled over and over in agony. Finally; gasping for air, Jane whispered, “Why the hell did you do that?”
“Tarzan check for bees first”
She asked him many questions about his life in the jungle, but when she asked him about his sex life, Tarzan replied, “What that?”
Jane proceeded to explain the ins and out of love making. Finally; Tarzan understood and told Jane he used a hole in tree to get relief.
Jane was horrified at such a waste of a man. “You are doing it all wrong Tarzan, Here, let Jane show you how to make love properly.”
Jane stripped, laid on the floor, spread her legs wide open, pointed to herself and told Tarzan where to insert himself.
Tarzan, took off his loin cloth, moved close to Jane and proceeded to give an almighty kick to her vagina.
Jane rolled over and over in agony. Finally; gasping for air, Jane whispered, “Why the hell did you do that?”
“Tarzan check for bees first”
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49,250 Posts
Medical students in a class. The lecturer came in and announced "Today's class is about Involuntary Muscle Activity". He looked directly at one girl and said "For example, do you know what your a**hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"
She replied "He's probably out playing golf, with his buddies."
Took about 45 minutes to reconvene the class.
She replied "He's probably out playing golf, with his buddies."
Took about 45 minutes to reconvene the class.
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This was certainly true in 1996. Today, I don't even want to think about 'Core Math'. Core Analytical Geometry & Algebra must be really special!
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My wife was a math major in college and a math teacher - when our granddaughter who is now 15 was in elementary school, some of the math homework she was given had stuff that was completely incorrect. Not to mention instructions in the book and with the homework that made no sense and examples that didn't even match what they were trying to demonstrate. just plain pi$$ poor garbage. Now let me tell you what I really think! 😉
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