Let's have some Christmas Jokes........
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Thread: Let's have some Christmas Jokes........

  1. #1
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    Let's have some Christmas Jokes........

    Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

    'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

    The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

    'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

    The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

    Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

    The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of woman's panties.

    St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'


    The man replied, 'These are Carols.'

    And So The Christmas Season
    Begins ......
    There's another old saying, Senator: Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining ( Outlaw Josey Wales )

    When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car

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    A little bit of Christmas History for you -


    Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and nothing was going right. The elves were complaining about not getting paid overtime.
    The reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and the sleigh was broken.

    Santa was furious. ‘I can’t believe it!’ he yells. ‘I’ve got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours –
    all of my reindeer are drunk, the elves are on strike and I don’t even have a Christmas tree!
    I sent that stupid little angel to find one hours ago! What am I going to do?’

    Just then, the little angel opens the front door and steps in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree.
    ‘Oi fatty!’ she says. ‘Where d’you want me to stick this?’

    And thus the tradition of angels atop the Christmas trees came to pass.



    Regards
    George
    First line of defense , my faithful Pit - don't mess with Mr. Kane !

    Lovin' it here in N. Ga - I wasn't born here , but I got here as fast as I could .

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    My oldest niece told me this a few years ago, so you'll have to forgive me since it's a bit dated.

    What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa only has three "HO'S"
    "Teach them the truth, and let them sort thru the cobwebs of liberalism that have infested their minds."

    -Gearchecker

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    Wiregrassguy likes this.
    Whenever You Try To Make Something IDIOT PROOF.........They Will Just Make Better IDIOTS!
    You can lead a Man to Congress, but you can't make him Think Milton Berle

    Due to the rising cost of Ammunition a Warning Shot will no longer be fired, Thank You For Your Understanding.



    NRA Life Member since 1988 now Endowment, And Proud Of It.

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    The year you stop believing in Santa Claus is the year you start getting clothes for Christmas. Regards , George
    RDLouks, mmitch and Wiregrassguy like this.
    First line of defense , my faithful Pit - don't mess with Mr. Kane !

    Lovin' it here in N. Ga - I wasn't born here , but I got here as fast as I could .


 

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