Joseph had just passed his driving test, so he asked his father, who was a Rabbi, if they could discuss the use of the car.
His father took him to his study and said to him, "Joseph, I'll make a deal with you. You bring your school grades up, study your Bible a little,
get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."
After about a month Joseph came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car.
They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Joseph, I've been real proud of you. You have raised your school grades,
you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"
Joseph waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Abraham had long hair,
Noah had long hair, and even Moses had long hair...."
To which the Rabbi replied, "Yes, and they walked every where they went!"
Barack @#$%Z was on vacation . He was walking along a beach in Hawaii one morning when he stumbled upon an old lamp.
He picked it up and rubbed it and a Genie appeared. Barack asked if he got three wishes.
The Genie said, "Nope, not these days. I'm only giving out one wish. So...what'll it be?"
Barack didn't hesitate. He said, "See this map? I want Israel and the Palestinians to stop fighting with each other and start loving each other instead."
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Are you crazy??? These people have been at war for years! I'm good, but I'm not that good. I don't think it can be done. So make another wish."
Barack thought for a minute and said, "You know, for some minor reason, a lot of people are beginning not to trust me.
It would be terrific if you would make everyone trust me more. That's my wish."
The Genie thought for a minute and said, "Hmmmmm. Let me see that map again..."
The Rabbi's Advice.
Abe goes to see his Rabbi.
"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong, Abe?"
Abe replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi was very surprised by this and asks, "How can that be?"
Abe then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls Abe and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
Abe anxiously says, "Yes."
"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.
First line of defense , my faithful Pit - don't mess with Mr. Kane !
Lovin' it here in N. Ga - I wasn't born here , but I got here as fast as I could .
Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, 'Wow! What a Ride! ~ Hunter S. Thompson
George...today was tough for me...I wasn't in the best of moods...but I have to tell you...your thread made me smile.....
God Grants Liberty Only To Those Who Love It And Are Always Ready To Defend It...Daniel Webster..1834