It's Saturday and a few laughs are needed today
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Thread: It's Saturday and a few laughs are needed today

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Member #
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    N ATL , Ga
    33023 times

    It's Saturday and a few laughs are needed today

    Only in Texas

    Storming into his lawyer's office, a Texas oil magnate
    demanded that divorce proceedings begin at once against his
    young bride.

    "What's the problem?"

    "I want to hit that adulterin' b*** for breach of contract,"
    snapped the oil man.

    "I don't know if that will fly," said the lawyer. "I mean your wife
    isn't a piece of property; you don't own her!"

    "Damn right," the tycoon rejoined, "but I sure as hell expect
    exclusive drillin' rights!

    It's always Lil Johnny

    One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a
    picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one
    raises his/her hand. The teacher says "See it's long neck? What
    animal has a long neck?"

    Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a giraffe. "Very good
    Sally," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a zebra.
    None of the students holds up his/her hands. "See the stripes on
    this animal? What animal has stripes?" Billy holds up his hand and
    says it is a zebra. "Very good Billy," the teacher replies. Next
    she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students recognized
    the animal.

    "See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?"

    Still no one guesses. "Let me give you another hint, it's
    something your mother calls your father."

    Johnny shouts out "I know what it is, it's a horny bastard."

    A guy went to a pub one night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

    He said, "Nice legs."

    The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."

    He said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. "

    Regards ,
    George - have some fun today and along the way make somebody smile
    First line of defense , my faithful Pit - don't mess with Mr. Kane !

    Lovin' it here in N. Ga - I wasn't born here , but I got here as fast as I could .

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Member #
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    "Middle of the Mitten" Michigan
    17636 times
    Thanks George, I needed a good chuckle today.
    swodski likes this.
    Whenever You Try To Make Something IDIOT PROOF.........They Will Just Make Better IDIOTS!
    You can lead a Man to Congress, but you can't make him Think Milton Berle

    Due to the rising cost of Ammunition a Warning Shot will no longer be fired, Thank You For Your Understanding.

    NRA Life Member since 1988 now Endowment, And Proud Of It.



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