It's Wednesday , life is Wonderful , Want a laugh ?
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Thread: It's Wednesday , life is Wonderful , Want a laugh ?

  1. #1
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    It's Wednesday , life is Wonderful , Want a laugh ?

    Angus Jones , the kid star on 2 1/2 Men ( now 19 yo ) , now calls the show filth ............. now that's funny
    And he just earlier this yr signed a new contract that pays $300,000 per episode




    Q: Why was the blonde looking and looking into the refrigerator?

    A: Because the orange juice box said ...... Concentrate



    Why do Jews wear yarmulkes?
    Because the little propellers cost extra!



    This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops
    for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door
    saying "NERDS NOT ALLOWED -- ENTER AT OWN RISK!" He goes in and sits
    down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of
    nerdy, asks him what he does for a living. The truck driver says he
    drives a truck, and the smell is just from the computers he is
    hauling. The bartender says OK, truck drivers are not nerds, and
    serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in
    with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of
    pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender,
    without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The
    truck driver asks him why he did that. The bartender said not to
    worry, the nerds are overpopulating the Silicon Valley, and are in
    season now. You don't even need a license, he said.
    So the truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and
    heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly he veers to avoid an accident,
    and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out
    all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming,
    grabbing up the computers. They are all engineers, accountants and
    programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen. He can't
    let them steal his whole load. So remembering what happened in the
    bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of
    them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps
    out of the car screaming at him to stop. The truck driver said,
    "What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season."
    "Well, sure," said the patrolman, "But you can't bait 'em."



    An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phoney beard sat
    down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked,
    "Going to a party?"
    "Yeah," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."
    "But you look like Abe Lincoln," protested the barkeep.
    "That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."



    Regards
    George
    First line of defense , my faithful Pit - don't mess with Mr. Kane !

    Lovin' it here in N. Ga - I wasn't born here , but I got here as fast as I could .

  2. #2
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    I always get a kick out of the hollywood types that get a conscience and want to do good only after they've made a lot of money. The funny thing about most of them is, they ask US to donate for THEIR causes! I did get a kick out of Charlie Sheen though. He was a whoremonger, drunk and druggie and enjoyed every second of it. Unlike his old man who slept on sewer grate one night to bring attention to the plight of the homeless. If he wanted to help the homeless he should have sent a bus around to pick them up and brought them to his home to eat and sleep. Apparently he wasn't THAT concerned about them.

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    BTW George, I love the jokes and now look forward to them each day!

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    Guy

    S&WCA #2629 | Ex-Navy Vietnam Vet. / Submariner | NRA Member | S&W Historical Foundation


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    What's Jewish foreplay?

    Two hours of begging and a trip to the jewelery store.

    Attachment 11476
    NULLI SECUNDUS

  7. #6
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    Guy

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    And, what do ya get with a bra cut in half........?

    Two yarmulkes with chin straps.

    Regards,

    Geezer
    Wiregrassguy likes this.
    Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, 'Wow! What a Ride! ~ Hunter S. Thompson

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    (chuckle)
    Guy

    S&WCA #2629 | Ex-Navy Vietnam Vet. / Submariner | NRA Member | S&W Historical Foundation


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    Charlie686

    " All that is required for evil to prevail is that good men do nothing"

    "If You Can't Move Mountains, Sweep Pebbles...Do Something For Jesus Today!"

    "Don't look within searching for truth...You are confused already"

    NRA Life Member

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    Duh....winning!!!
    "I love the freedoms we got in this country, I appreciate your freedom to burn your flag if you want to, but I really appreciate my right to bear arms so I can shoot you if you try to burn mine!" -Johnny Cash


 

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