Tuesday giggles
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  1. #21
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    >> Since it was such a crappy day, I sat in my recliner and started
    >>>> thinking about life. I came to realize that as I have grown older I've
    >>>> learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off
    >>>> is a piece of cake.
    >>>>
    >>>> Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore, a friend of mine was wearing
    >>>> one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
    >>>>
    >>>> Lance Armstrong ... I think it is just terrible and disgusting how
    >>>> everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he
    >>>> achieved: winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. Hell, when I
    >>>> was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike.
    >>>>
    >>>> Drive By ... Someone broke into my house last week. They didn't take
    >>>> my TV, just the remote. Now they drive by and change the channels.
    >>>> Sick bastards!
    >>>>
    >>>> The Agony of Aging ... On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended
    >>>> I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis
    >>>> with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing
    >>>> checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back."
    >>>>
    >>>> Video Scam ... Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods' DVD
    >>>> entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes." Turns out it's all about golf.
    >>>> Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed
    >>>>
    >>>> Pregnant Prostitute ... Doctor asks a pregnant prostitute, "Do you
    >>>> know who the father is?" She replied, "If you ate a can of beans,
    >>>> would you know which one made you fart!

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by savage170 View Post
    Nine year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned at Sunday school.
    "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.
    "When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely.
    "Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
    "Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
    "Well, no. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

    That's not funny, its tragic. It what the public school system has done to children.



    “The State did not own men so entirely, even when it could send them to the stake, as it sometimes does now where it can send them to the elementary school.”
    ― G.K. Chesterton, The Well and the Shallows


    "Your children will go to public school and they will be trained for somewhere around 15,000 hours in ungodly secular thought. And then they'll go to Sunday school and they'll color a picture of Noah's ark. And you think that's going to stand against the lies that they are being told?"
    -- Paul Washer
    powrguy likes this.
    "I ask, who are the militia? They consist now of the whole people, except a few public officers.”
    -- George Mason, co-author of the 2nd Amendment

    "Make yourself sheep and the wolves will eat you."
    -- Benjamin Franklin



  3. #23
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    "The right to buy weapons is the right to be free." -A.E. van Vogt

    " It is simply not possible to believe fossil fuel emissions will destroy the world and, at the same time, oppose nuclear power. "- Dennis Prager

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  5. #24
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    jeepnut and Abby'sDad like this.
    "The right to buy weapons is the right to be free." -A.E. van Vogt

    " It is simply not possible to believe fossil fuel emissions will destroy the world and, at the same time, oppose nuclear power. "- Dennis Prager

  6. #25
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    "The right to buy weapons is the right to be free." -A.E. van Vogt

    " It is simply not possible to believe fossil fuel emissions will destroy the world and, at the same time, oppose nuclear power. "- Dennis Prager

  7. #26
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    The Irish Blonde...


    An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.


    She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"


    As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.


    The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

    MORAL OF THE STORY

    Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb,..... but all men...are men!
    Regards,
    Rodney


    "To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead."

    Thomas Paine

  8. #27
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    Abby'sDad, savage170 and jeepnut like this.
    I keep a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take an ass whoopin'!

    "Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself."
    George Washington


  9. #28
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    I keep a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take an ass whoopin'!

    "Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself."
    George Washington


  10. #29
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    Name:  images - 2020-02-29T220644.568.jpg
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    I keep a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take an ass whoopin'!

    "Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself."
    George Washington


  11. #30
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    Name:  images (78).jpg
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    I keep a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take an ass whoopin'!

    "Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself."
    George Washington



 
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