It's Tuesday...how bout a laugh.
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Thread: It's Tuesday...how bout a laugh.

  1. #21
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    A preacher, newly called to a small country town, needed to mail a letter. Passing a young boy on the street, the pastor asked where he could find the post office.
    After getting his answer, the minister thanked the boy and said, “If you’ll come to the community church this evening, you can hear me tell everyone how to get to heaven.”
    “I don’t know, sir,” the boy replied. “You don’t even know how to get to the post office!”
    powrguy, lawdog, timcolr and 6 others like this.

  2. #22
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    A man awoke one evening to discover prowlers in his storage shed. He immediately called 911, gave his address, to report the prowlers and possible burglary. The operator at the other end said "Are they in your house?" He said they were not, only in his storage shed in back of the house. The operator said there were no cars available at that time. He thanked the operator, hung up the phone and counted to 30 and called again. "I just called you about prowlers in my storage shed. Well you do not have to worry, as I just shot them all dead!" Within seconds there were 3 police cars, an ambulance and fire engine at the scene. After capturing the prowlers red-handed, the policeman asked the caller, "I thought you said you had shot them all!" The man answered, "I thought you said there were no police available!"
    jdavis, powrguy, lawdog and 7 others like this.

  3. #23
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    A bright young executive had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech firm. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and handed him three numbered envelopes.

    “Open these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can handle,” he said.

    Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a nosedive and he was really catching a lot of heat from the board. At wit’s end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, “Blame your predecessor.”

    The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the board, the press, and Wall Street responded positively, sales picked up, stock prices rose and the problem was soon behind him.

    About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious problems getting new product to market. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO wasted no time in opening the second envelope. The message read, “Reorganize.” This he did, and again the company quickly rebounded. After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The simple message said, “Prepare three envelopes…”
    jdavis, powrguy, timcolr and 7 others like this.

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  5. #24
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    Thanks so much guys!!!
    jeepnut likes this.
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  6. #25
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    I'm Mr Bad Example, take a look at me.

  7. #26
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    jeepnut, lawdog, Mule60 and 2 others like this.
    I'm Mr Bad Example, take a look at me.

  8. #27
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    powrguy, jeepnut, lawdog and 2 others like this.
    I'm Mr Bad Example, take a look at me.


 
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