Forrest Gump goes to Heaven !
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Thread: Forrest Gump goes to Heaven !

  1. #1
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    Forrest Gump goes to Heaven !

    If you liked him in the movie , you'll love the encore ...............



    The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven..


    He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.
    However, the gates are closed,
    and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

    St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest,
    it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you.
    I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast,
    and we have been administering
    an entrance examination for everyone.
    The test is short, but you have to
    pass it before you can get into Heaven.'

    Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St.. Peter, sir.
    But nobody ever told me about any entrance
    exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.
    Life was a big enough test
    as it was.'

    St.. Peter continued, 'Yes, I
    know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

    First:
    What two days of the week
    begin with the letter T?

    Second:
    How many seconds are there in a year?

    Third:
    What is God's first name?'

    Forrest leaves to think the questions over.
    He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and
    says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,
    tell me your answers.'

    Forrest replied, answering ...
    first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'?
    Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow..'

    The Saint's eyes opened wide and
    he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do
    have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit
    for that answer. How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.

    'How many seconds in a year?
    Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk about
    that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'

    Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve?
    Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve
    seconds in a year?'

    Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's
    got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '

    'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter.
    'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,
    though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give
    you credit for that one, too.

    Let us go on with the third and final question.
    Can you tell me God's first name'?

    'Sure,' Forrest replied,
    'it's Andy.'

    'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated
    and frustrated St Peter.

    'Ok, I can understand how you
    came up with your answers to my first two questions,
    but just how in the
    world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'

    'Shucks, that was the easiest
    one of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song,
    ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
    ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
    ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'

    St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,
    and said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'



    Now ain't it nice to have some good , clean jokes ?

    Regards ,
    George
    RDLouks, FlaRon, Willboat and 4 others like this.
    First line of defense , my faithful Pit - don't mess with Mr. Kane !

    Lovin' it here in N. Ga - I wasn't born here , but I got here as fast as I could .

  2. #2
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    Thank you for this post. Sunday was a wonderful day at Church. I enjoyed leading the services, etc. Then... I had to share some bad financial news with the congregation that is going to have severe repurcussions for everyone. I must admit, I was glad Monday was my off-day. Today will be better. Your post helped. Sincerely. brucev.

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    Thanks for the chuckle. Makes one think twice.
    Mess with my First Amendment rights and you'll get a quick lesson in my Second Amendment rights.
    NRA Member

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    Love it!!!!!!!!!


 

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