I switched my phone service ( yes , I am an ol' fogey who still has a landline ) and Internet from AT&T to Charter this week .
Why you ask ? Simple , AT&T sucks . Their Internet is SLOW and intermittent . And they raised my phone rates by $2 . The straw that broke ........
Now $2 ain't much , but when you're losing customers hand over fist and try to milk the remaining ones .... well just ask the USPS .
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,
cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
During the Six Day War, this division of Arabs is making its way across
the burning desert sands towards Israel, when the Arab commander, bouncing
along in his jeep, spots an aged Israeli on top a distant sand dune. The
commander drops his binoculars and shouts orders to a foot soldier to run
up ahead and kill the infidel Israeli. The soldier sprints ahead of the
advancing troops, and soon disappears over the sand dune. The general
stops the troops and waits to see what happens.
Nothing happens. The commander sends a whole platoon of soldiers to
investigate. All twelve Arabs disappear over the sand dune, never to be
seen again. The now-slightly-anxious commander dispatches 3 tanks to find
out just what in the heck is going on, and they disappear over the dune,
too. Sweat pours down the commander's forehead as he orders his entire
division to overrun the solitary Israeli behind the sand dune.
But just then, the first soldier reappears on the distant sand dune and
cups his hands to his lips. "Go back!" he shouts. "Go back! It's
hopeless-- there's TWO of them!"
Death row sing along
There was an inmate on death row, and he was scheduled to be put to death
by firing squad the next morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards
were being very nice to him.
But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal,
he didn't want anything special. When they asked if there was something
special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It went on like this all day.
Finally when he was put before the firing squad, the guard asked if he
wanted a cigarette and a blindfold. "No," the inmate said, "just get it
over with."
"Well, is there anything that I can do for you before you go?" said the
guard. "You didn't even want a special last meal!"
The inmate thought. "Actually," he said, "Music is my life. One thing I
would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time
through, with no interruptions." The guard nodded and told him to go
ahead.
The inmate started..."One million bottles of beer on the wall......!"
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him..
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
Not everyone who sh**s on you is your enemy;
THE END
Regards
George
Why you ask ? Simple , AT&T sucks . Their Internet is SLOW and intermittent . And they raised my phone rates by $2 . The straw that broke ........
Now $2 ain't much , but when you're losing customers hand over fist and try to milk the remaining ones .... well just ask the USPS .
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,
cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
During the Six Day War, this division of Arabs is making its way across
the burning desert sands towards Israel, when the Arab commander, bouncing
along in his jeep, spots an aged Israeli on top a distant sand dune. The
commander drops his binoculars and shouts orders to a foot soldier to run
up ahead and kill the infidel Israeli. The soldier sprints ahead of the
advancing troops, and soon disappears over the sand dune. The general
stops the troops and waits to see what happens.
Nothing happens. The commander sends a whole platoon of soldiers to
investigate. All twelve Arabs disappear over the sand dune, never to be
seen again. The now-slightly-anxious commander dispatches 3 tanks to find
out just what in the heck is going on, and they disappear over the dune,
too. Sweat pours down the commander's forehead as he orders his entire
division to overrun the solitary Israeli behind the sand dune.
But just then, the first soldier reappears on the distant sand dune and
cups his hands to his lips. "Go back!" he shouts. "Go back! It's
hopeless-- there's TWO of them!"
Death row sing along
There was an inmate on death row, and he was scheduled to be put to death
by firing squad the next morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards
were being very nice to him.
But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal,
he didn't want anything special. When they asked if there was something
special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It went on like this all day.
Finally when he was put before the firing squad, the guard asked if he
wanted a cigarette and a blindfold. "No," the inmate said, "just get it
over with."
"Well, is there anything that I can do for you before you go?" said the
guard. "You didn't even want a special last meal!"
The inmate thought. "Actually," he said, "Music is my life. One thing I
would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time
through, with no interruptions." The guard nodded and told him to go
ahead.
The inmate started..."One million bottles of beer on the wall......!"
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him..
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
Not everyone who sh**s on you is your enemy;
THE END
Regards
George