It's finally Friday , need a laugh ?
Results 1 to 7 of 7
Like Tree63Likes
  • 13 Post By georgepittenger
  • 15 Post By savage170
  • 12 Post By grasshopper2
  • 10 Post By Oldgungeezer
  • 1 Post By msharley
  • 8 Post By bearcat6
  • 4 Post By Beezerchris

Thread: It's finally Friday , need a laugh ?

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Member #
    4614
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    N ATL , Ga
    Posts
    6,523
    Liked
    23114 times

    It's finally Friday , need a laugh ?

    This Day in History

    1536
    Anne Boleyn, the second wife of King Henry VIII, was beheaded.
    (quicker and less expensive than a divorce ? )

    1921
    Congress passed the Emergency Quota Act, establishing national quotas for immigrants.

    1962
    Marilyn Monroe sang “Happy Birthday” to president John F. Kennedy.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y74oWon5VTo



    For the first time in more than 30 years -

    First time mothers ages 30 - 34 delivered more babies than ages 25 - 29 .



    "Oh goodness," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"

    Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm certainly not surprised.
    You've been giving me a piece of it every day for thirty years!"



    A young blonde was filling up application form for a job. She was not sure what
    to be filled in column "Salary Expected".

    After much thought she wrote: "YES".



    A traveling salesman was held up in the west by a terrible rainstorm and flood.
    He e-mails his home office in NY: "Delayed by storm. Send instructions."

    His boss e-mails back: "Start vacation immediately!"



    A teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of discovery and the importance of curiosity.
    "Where would we be today," she asked, "if no one had ever been curious?"

    One child quietly spoke up from the back of the room. "In the Garden of Eden?"



    A mystery-lover takes his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back
    in the theater, far from the stage. The man calls an usher over and whispers, "I just love
    a good mystery, and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However,
    in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close
    up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip."

    The usher nods and says he will be back shortly. Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks
    with his co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes
    left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket at the Will Call window and snatches it up. Returning
    to the man in the back of the theater, he whispers, "Follow me." The usher leads the man down
    to the second row, and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle.

    "Thanks so much," says the theatergoer, "This seat is perfect." He then hands the usher a lone quarter.

    The usher looks down at the quarter, then leans over and whispers,
    "The butler did it in the parlor with the candlestick."



    Regards
    George
    First line of defense , my faithful Pit - don't mess with Mr. Kane !

    Lovin' it here in N. Ga - I wasn't born here , but I got here as fast as I could .

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Member #
    13206
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    orlando
    Posts
    1,552
    Liked
    9418 times
    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,
    who
    has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was
    since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will
    be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
    Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
    Why the early bird gets the worm;
    Life isnít always fair;
    Maybe it was my fault.

    Common sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (Donít spend more
    than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children are in charge).

    His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing
    regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with
    sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school
    for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an
    unruly student, only worsened his condition.

    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
    job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
    children. It declined even further when schools were required to get
    parental consent to administer sun tan lotion or an aspirin to a student;
    but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted
    to have an abortion.

    Common sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;
    and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

    Common Sense took a beating when you couldnít defend
    yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar
    could sue you for assault.

    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman
    failed to realize that a steaming hot cup o coffee was hot. She
    spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

    Common Sense was preceded in death,
    -by his parents, Truth and Trust,

    -by his wife, Discretion,

    -by his daughter, Responsibility,

    -and by his son, Reason.

    He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;

    - I Know My Rights

    - I Want It Now

    - Someone Else Is To Blame

    - Iím a Victim

    - Pay me For Doing Nothing

    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

    If you still remember him, pass this on.
    DavidWJ, Trebor, bearcat6 and 12 others like this.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Member #
    19993
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    894
    Liked
    3416 times
    Name:  bad day.jpg
Views: 81
Size:  80.8 KB

  4. Remove Advertisements
    SmithAndWessonForums.com
    Advertisements

  5. #4
    Supporting Member
    Supporting Member

    Member #
    3849
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    East Valley, east of Phoenix, AZ.
    Posts
    10,251
    Liked
    24098 times
    Name:  DuctTapeCantFixStupid (1).jpg
Views: 81
Size:  22.8 KB
    WendyZXZ, Trebor, magspop and 7 others like this.
    "If we ever forget that we're one nation under GOD, then we will be a nation gone under"..........Ronald Reagan

  6. #5
    Senior Member
    Member #
    7857
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Central Pa
    Posts
    3,501
    Liked
    5784 times
    Quote Originally Posted by georgepittenger View Post
    This Day in History

    1536
    Anne Boleyn, the second wife of King Henry VIII, was beheaded.
    (quicker and less expensive than a divorce ? )

    1921
    Congress passed the Emergency Quota Act, establishing national quotas for immigrants.

    1962
    Marilyn Monroe sang “Happy Birthday” to president John F. Kennedy.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y74oWon5VTo



    For the first time in more than 30 years -

    First time mothers ages 30 - 34 delivered more babies than ages 25 - 29 .



    "Oh goodness," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"

    Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm certainly not surprised.
    You've been giving me a piece of it every day for thirty years!"


















    Regards
    George
    Hey George,

    He never saw it coming!

    Later, Mark
    Trebor likes this.
    Duty is the sublimest word in the English language. Every man should desire to do his duty, no man should desire to do less. Robert E. Lee

    Marlinitis Symptoms: More daily.

    Active rescuer of Marlin Rifles, S&W revolvers, 1911's, Mil/Surplus rifles, shotguns.........

  7. #6
    Senior Member
    Member #
    12731
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    oregon
    Posts
    3,217
    Liked
    13987 times
    Name:  cJfzZ1494289863.jpg
Views: 61
Size:  42.0 KB
    powrguy, magspop, WendyZXZ and 5 others like this.
    I'm Mr Bad Example, take a look at me.

  8. #7
    Senior Member
    Member #
    14211
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    951
    Liked
    2669 times
    Quote Originally Posted by bearcat6 View Post
    Name:  cJfzZ1494289863.jpg
Views: 61
Size:  42.0 KB
    Ah yes - it's perparing him for later on in life. I think that generation of boys can assume that his "life partner" will be keeping the other half of his privates in a jar, unless they are very careful.
    ____________________________
    Beezerchris
    Fraser Valley, BC. Canada

    "Guns, Whiskey, Motorcycles... they just get better with age."


Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

Similar Threads

  1. It's finally Friday , how about a laugh ?
    By georgepittenger in forum The Short Story Forum
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 10-28-2016, 10:59 AM
  2. It's finally Friday , how about a laugh ?
    By georgepittenger in forum The Short Story Forum
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 08-26-2016, 09:13 AM
  3. It's finally Friday , how about a laugh ?
    By georgepittenger in forum The Short Story Forum
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-19-2016, 09:46 AM
  4. It's finally Friday , how about a laugh ?
    By georgepittenger in forum The Short Story Forum
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 08-14-2016, 08:50 AM
  5. It's finally Friday , how about a laugh ?
    By georgepittenger in forum The Short Story Forum
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 08-05-2016, 08:50 PM
Powered by vBulletinģ Version 4.2.2
Copyright © 2017 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
SmithandWessonForums.com is not affiliated with Smith & Wesson. We are an enthusiast site and fans of Smith & Wesson Firearms. To visit the official Smith & Wesson site, click here: Smith-Wesson.com.