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Thread: 2012 Darwin Awards - The WINNER is definitely a keeper!!!

  1. #1
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    2012 Darwin Awards - The WINNER is definitely a keeper!!!

    My apologies if this has been posted earlier. All I can say is: STML and LTML is to blame.


    Nominee No. 1: [ San Jose Mercury News]:
    An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girl
    friend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun
    discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

    Nominee No. 2: [ Kalamazoo Gazette]:
    James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo , MI , was killed in March as he was
    trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a
    friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that
    he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught
    on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive
    shaft."

    Nominee No. 3: [ Hickory Daily Record]:
    Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in
    Newton , NC . Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed,
    he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special,
    which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

    Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto ]:
    Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown
    Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24
    floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the
    courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was
    explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students.
    Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to
    police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day
    Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and
    brightest" members of the 200-man association. A person has to wonder what
    the dimmer members of this law firm are like.

    Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]:
    Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent
    several years awaiting South Carolina 's electric chair on a murder
    conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While
    sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set,
    he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

    Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]:
    A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk , IN. A
    Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a
    muzzleloader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his
    face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his
    parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was
    cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He
    was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

    Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga , Ontario ]:
    A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in
    this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. "Stefan
    Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred," said
    Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the
    chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.

    Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [ Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:
    Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck
    a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County
    deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday.
    Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock ,
    were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday
    night, Poole 's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.

    The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had
    burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that
    the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box
    next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights
    again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound
    toward the White River Bridge .

    After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river,
    the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the
    testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and
    struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the
    accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his
    testicles, which will never operate as intended.

    Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God
    we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be
    dead," stated Wallis

    "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a
    first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident
    happened," said Snyder.

    Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia ( Poole 's wife) asked how many
    frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck? Though
    Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally
    required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did in
    fact effectively remove himself from the gene pool.





    Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
    ~Author Unknown
    Last edited by NWDave; 01-22-2013 at 02:30 PM.
    "I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I require the same from them." John Wayne, "The Shootist"

    "What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others."

    Retired Military: 1963-1967 U.S. Navy 1971-1987 U.S. Air Force

  2. #2
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    #3 sounds fishy. And I can't find an actual news report of it. I wonder how they "confirmed" it.


    Glock 36 or 30 (EDC)
    NRA Life Member

  3. #3
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    That's my "paper" and I read all of it every day. That does sound familiar, but not recently.

  4. #4
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    #5 is a great definition of "irony".

    COME TAKE IT.
    To friends , I'm "Thud". Proud Supporter of Buckeye Firearms Assn.

  5. #5
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    Thank god for stupid people. It makes me feel that much better about myself LOL.

    And for those who lived thru them ordeals......."here's your sign"....(some of you may get that one LOL.)
    Wiregrassguy likes this.
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  6. #6
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    I guarentee the #2 Kalamazoo incident happened. I recall reading it in the paper.

  7. #7
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    Sounds like cannidates for Congress. Bob
    When you want the BEST! Bob

  8. #8
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    The winner is also confirmed but more than a few years back.
    swodski likes this.

  9. #9
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    Well, you know that many of the submissions for the Darwin Awards don't necessarily occur during the year of the award.
    "I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I require the same from them." John Wayne, "The Shootist"

    "What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others."

    Retired Military: 1963-1967 U.S. Navy 1971-1987 U.S. Air Force


 

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